every dream as a child, all in one room.
I feel as though I was meant for a time of piracy and adventure that didn’t involved the screen of a computer.
by Jose Rosero
Recently I have been having the most premonitory dreams about family members passing and old faces trying to mend broken ties after I already decided I would never again fall back into that “one way road” style of friendship. These dreams felt so real that from the second I awoke till the second I would fall asleep again, a stench of mental awkwardness would constrict my ability to feel normal or comfortable around any given person or crowd. During the height of this feeling I oddly enough received that attempt through a simple text message.
After battling with thoughts of willingly trying to fix this Chernobyl-like-friendship, I chose more or less to stick to my guns which in reality I can thank to my lack of timely response that I tend to direct towards anyone at any random time… No one in-particular or special, it could have been anyone yet it just so happened that my scattered brain chose to put that trait in effect on that odd day in that situation. After this I was relieved to sleep well that night dreamless and blank.
A few days had past and nothing was out of the norm, which honestly was an amazing streak of active and productive days that just lead to rest filled nights thanks to some uninterrupted sleep for once. This almost euphoric set of days was ended the other night, bringing me closer to that awkwardness I thought was gone for good…
I was driving in my car on route 77 in Scarborough, Maine listening to Atmospheres - “When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold” and my phone began to rang. What I was told next wasn’t the worst or the most severe news I could have been told. Disregarding that, it initially startled me at first to see a number from Maine Medical Center number calling me at 9 PM when I know there wasn’t a single one of my immediate family members working that night. As I answered the phone I had no clue as to what news I would hear… Is my mom hurt? Did my sister leave her cellphone in a place she couldn’t remember and needed a person far away to call her phone to find it? Is one of my friends or cousins injured?
… My mom replied to my instant hello sounding not to worried or shaken up by any means, so my nerves calmed; this lead to hearing the news that my “Mimi” Bean was taken into the ER with complaints of irregular heart beat and complications with breathing. Continuing to drive on Route 77 with an awe struck expression on my face I was okay with not feeling sad or worried, because my mom reassured me she would be just fine; I was more or less fixed on being fearful of the exact similarities of my dreams in relation to reality. Being the overactive thinker that I am, getting over this or even trying just pretending it never happened isn’t really at all in the realm of possibility.
Days previous to these actual happenings I dreamed them actually happening… Thankfully I wasn’t entirely correct about my dear and loved select grandparent passing, because I am not to sure if I’d even be in the write mind to share this. Nevertheless, they were far too similar to just ignore or forget. Another trait I have though is researching everything that interests or confuses me, and well… obviously this has grasped my attention.
Revenge of the Creature (1955)